Wikipedia states: a bait and switch is a form of fraud in which the party putting forth the fraud lures in customers by advertising a product or service at an unprofitably low price, then reveals to potential customers that the advertised good is not available but that a substitute is.
I got a voicemail from my friend in Boston “ Call me as soon as you can. I pulled the old bait and switch. Your gonna love this one”
I am a big fan of anything involving an attempt at swindling someone because more often than not, the swindle turns into a befuddling string of events that leaves everyone confused and no better off than they were at the starting point, which is exactly what happened on one summerish Sunday night in Boston.
Her: “ So you remember that guy I met at the Sevens? The cute one? We were texting and we hooked up? Remember? “
Me: “Yeah yeah yeah. He works in finance and your friend likes his friend”
Her: “Yeah. Get this. He stops responding to my texts. Just stops. For no reason. So I text him a few times.”
Me: “ How many?”
Her: “ A few. I don’t know”
Me: “ More than ten?”
Her: “No. I don’t think so. No, not more than ten. Maybe five.”
Me: “Five texts with no response is a lot”
Her: “ Well, some were in the same sitting”
Me: “Ok well still..so is he the bait and switch story?”
Her: “Yeah so Sunday I go to brunch with a bunch of boring people, I have a couple of drinks and I’m thinking about him. Ya know? I’m like what the hell happened there. So I figure I give it one more shot”
Me: “ Erase his number from your phone right now”
Her: “ Will you just listen! I figure I gotta use some strategy here. Some mind games. Maybe the old bait and switch so I text him “ you up for a threesome?” I figure that will spark his attention. Don’t ya know the son of a bitch responds IMMEDIATELY that he is in. ( laugh laugh laugh) So I text him to be at my apartment at eight. He shows up early. This is the same person who couldn’t muster up a text response. “
Her: “I pretend to get a text from my threesome friend that she can’t make it and he gets a text that he has to do something for work and leaves. I think he made that up. ”
Me: “I hate to tell you but that is not a bait and switch. It is an attempt. I can see where it was going but yeah it didn’t work”
Her: “ Anyway I’m so done with him.”
It is hard times when you have to upsell casual sex with the allure of other woman. That’s like saying “hey I’ll get my friend to have sex with you but you have to have sex with me too. C’mon please?”
I do admire her creativity. I brought a guy I think is cute to the bar the other night and the most I could think of to do to show him that I liked him was lean on his chair and get him his beers for free.
Plying a man with alcohol is just a low brow version of her trying- to – get- some –loving scam.
The truth is, it is fun to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
Thanks for listening
Kendra is a stand up comic living in Brooklyn where she owns a super comfortable bed. She spends most of her time wondering where the hell her sugar daddy is and hoping he didn’t settle.