I performed in the Women in Comedy Festival in Boston last week (check out the festival http://www.womenincomedyfestival.com/). I arrived at the venue and the first thing the hostess said to me is “Your mothers here, she’s not happy”
Turns out, the show was sold out and she hadn’t made a reservation so she did not get preference in seating nor did she mask her disappointment.
The hostess went on “She wanted me to comp her but I …”
“Please, don’t worry about my mother.”
As I’m having this conversation with the concerned hostess, I see my mother leering at me from across the room.
I made the mistake of telling her what the hostess said. “She said that? Oh get a life. Seriously there’s something wrong with that girl. She can’t comp your mother? She sticks me back here? Look at all these empty seats. I don’t think she likes you”
“Maybe she doesn’t like you, Mum”
“Oh stop being ridiculous. She doesn’t even know me. Your hair looks good”
We spent the next day together. As I climbed in the car she asked “Now is there anything you want to do while you’re here?”
“Not really, I’m pretty flexible”
“Oh good because I thought we would go to Ashmont Grill around 7, I gotta stop by Joannes and, shit, I HAVE to pick up my laundry. Don’t let me forget”
Bingo I am in errand cahoots within moments. I did thank her for the courtesy of acting like what I wanted to do mattered.
Driving around doing errands is a means of bonding in my family. I can’t tell you how many Saturdays as a kid we would pile in the car at 9 am and not get home until we had gorged on a late lunch of Chinese food. Filene’s basement, food shopping, grandparent visits, whatever was on the list, it didn’t matter, we got to drive around and listen to music and hang out together. It was a mobile furlough.
I’ve been programmed to associate errand running with close relationships. If a guy says “Let’s pop in here, I need new sneakers”
Alley Oop! Full steam ahead.
I have to stop myself from saying “Ok ok it’s official, I will be your Girlfriend but, Boyfriend, but we still need to talk about this, your expectations, my expectations…”
The worst is when your crush is a bad errand runner. Some people just do not enjoy errands. Once I witnessed a cutie furiously dropping off dry cleaning. Relax, buddy. It’s 2 o’clock on a Saturday. Take a deep breath. I can’t deal with people like that. Running errands is the perfect excuse to go brain dead. You walk around on autopilot crossing things off the list, knowing at the end of the day you will feel as if you accomplished something even though you didn’t have to THINK. You participated in a few bullshit conversations, maybe even an impulse buy or two, snacks snacks snacks, these are the types of days you want to spend with a special someone.
That’s the best time to bond, especially with men, when you’re not thinking.
It’s a level playing field.
Read about our trip to Alumni Café here
There is a story about me and my cars here
Thanks for listening!